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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27524818">Deception</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack'>SadieandJack</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CSI: Crime Scene Investigation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 05:54:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27524818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Grissom is in Paris and Sara is in Las Vegas very sick. Their lives seem entwined until Sara's deception leaves him reeling as he debates whether he can be with her or not.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Deception</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catherine touched my head as I lay in bed with a fever after she brought me home from work. Her brows furrowed in concern as the fever went up as she touched me.</p><p>"Gil, is going to kill me." She said, quietly to herself.</p><p>The laptop I kept on the bed in case he wanted to video chat was on his side of the bed making Catherine wish that he were here to help not far away in another country. I slept not moving and Catherine decided I was okay, but she would check on me later.</p><p>That evening my computer next to me made a sound telling me that Grissom was there. I moved sleepily looking over at the laptop. My arm felt like it was tied to bricks as I slowly reached over turning it on. Grissom appeared smiling then it was masked by concern.</p><p>"Honey, what's wrong?"</p><p>"I'm sick." I said</p><p>"How long have you been sick for?" He asked, remembering I didn't look bad the other night.</p><p>"I…don't know." I said, slowly closing my eyes then opening it seeing his face.</p><p>"Has anyone checked on you?"</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"I'll call Catherine." He said</p><p>"Don't leave me."</p><p>"I won't leave you." He said, looking at my sweaty head worried.</p><p>I closed my eyes and for a few minutes he thought I had gone to sleep. Then I moved opening my eyes again looking at him.</p><p>"Gil, I am sorry." I said</p><p>"Sorry for what, honey?" He asked</p><p>"I never wanted to get a divorce."</p><p>"We are not divorced, Sara."</p><p>I looked at him confused.</p><p>"You said….you wanted a divorce."</p><p>"I never said that."</p><p>I closed my eyes again letting my head move deeper into the pillow. Grissom watched me a moment then he got his phone out dialing. I woke sometime later seeing that Grissom had ended the visit because the screen was black. I went back to sleep only to wake when I heard a voice calling me. Slowly my eyes opened and I saw Catherine holding a glass of something. Pills were put into my mouth then the taste of water. I swallowed drinking more. My head was lowered as she talked to me again. I blinked slowly closing my eyes.</p><p>I moved feeling someone sitting on the bed. Catherine rubbed her head watching me as her cell phone went off.</p><p>"Willows." She said, getting up.</p><p>I moved hearing her talking to someone. I guessed it was Grissom by her tone. She went into the next room and I opened my eyes looking to the side. She came back in looking over at me.</p><p>"Her fever went up a little an hour ago, but it went down just ten minutes ago."</p><p>I swallowed watching her walk over to my side sitting down reaching over to touch my cheek and head.</p><p>"Grissom, I am telling you she is going to be fine." She said</p><p>I slowly reached over trying to get the phone from her.</p><p>"Sara, wants to talk to you." She said, handing me the phone. "I'll get you some soup."</p><p>I put the phone to my ear.</p><p>"Sara, are you all right?" He asked</p><p>"Grissom, I miss you."</p><p>"I know Honey. I wish I could hold you now."</p><p>"Where are you?" I asked, sleepy.</p><p>"I am at the apartment."</p><p>"Please come." I said</p><p>"I can't right now."</p><p>Catherine came in holding the bowl of soup she made as I handed her the phone moving to my side. She set the bowl down next to my bed listening to Grissom talk. She stood again walking out to the living room.</p><p>It hurt knowing Grissom could not come to take care of me. I realized I was being selfish about this. I did miss him, but I had to let him be. A week later I was working hard again despite Catherine ordering me to take it easy.</p><p>Grissom did not call me or video chat for days not that I cared since the lab went into overtime working on cases.</p><p>I yawned in the locker room after a shower. Catherine came in looking at me.</p><p>"You look ready to drop."</p><p>"I'm fine." I said, yawning again.</p><p>She opened her locker looking at me before getting her things out. Her phone went off and she grabbed it. I shut my locker walking slowly to the door.</p><p>"Where Jim?" She asked</p><p>I turned looking at her as she listened.</p><p>"Okay, I'll get the team." She said, before hanging up.</p><p>"Something up?"</p><p>"Yes, bus collision with a truck on the highway." She said, getting her gun out.</p><p>"I'm ready." I said, awake again.</p><p>"No, I want you to go home." She said "You have worked longer than anyone."</p><p>"I can help." I said, following her out.</p><p>She sighed stopping.</p><p>"Get your gear."</p><p>"Great." I said, going back to the locker room. We went to work on the crash which was very gruesome. Nick poked Greg as they looked over at me slowly standing from the spot I was working walking around.</p><p>"She has been up for seventy- two hours." Nick said</p><p>"When will she drop? I would have by then."</p><p>"Hard to say." Nick said</p><p>I blinked looking at a tire on the bus shaking my head as my vision went blurry. It cleared again as I leaned down looking at it.</p><p>Grissom parked behind the police vehicles looking around at people standing behind a police line along the road. He walked past the vehicles seeing Jim Brass talking to several people with bandages on their heads.</p><p>"Hello Jim." He said, walking past. Brass turned looking at him.</p><p>"Good to see you Grissom."</p><p>Grissom smiled walking past seeing Catherine giving orders to some CSI's at the top of the hillside.</p><p>"Looks like you have your hand's full." He said</p><p>Catherine looked over at him smiling walking over hugging him.</p><p>"Good to see you."</p><p>"You to. I just arrived deciding to check on the scene."</p><p>"It's really bad." She said</p><p>"Where is Sara?" He asked, looking at the workers below.</p><p>"She is….over by the bus." She said, scanning the area.</p><p>Grissom looked over seeing me.</p><p>"How long has she been up?"</p><p>"Seventy- two hours now."</p><p>Grissom looked at her giving her a look.</p><p>"Grissom, don't give me that look. I didn't want her to work, but you know how she is."</p><p>"Yes I do and I still wouldn't let her work like this. Suppose she makes a critical mistake?"</p><p>"Take her home then."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>He nodded watching Nick walk over talking to me. Catherine dialed my number looking over as I answered the phone.</p><p>"Sara, I need to see you a moment up top." She said</p><p>Grissom looked at Catherine as she listened to me.</p><p>"I know you are working, but this is more important."</p><p>Grissom took the phone off her and looked at me.</p><p>"Sara, do as Catherine says."</p><p>I turned looking up seeing him standing next to Catherine.</p><p>"Grissom?"</p><p>"Now." He said, hanging up.</p><p>He watched me hang up and walk over climbing up then I looked at him.</p><p>"You're coming home." He said, motioning me to him.</p><p>"I can't, this is a crime scene."</p><p>"I understand you have not slept in a while." He said, eyeing Catherine.</p><p>"Gris."</p><p>"Now Sara."</p><p>I sighed walking over. He took my arm leading me to his car. I looked at people as I walked by them stopping at his car.</p><p>"How did you get here?" I asked</p><p>"First thing's first." He said, holding my cheeks between his hands. He kissed me lovingly then drew back looking into my eyes. "I arrived about an hour ago."</p><p>"You flew here to do this?"</p><p>"No, I came to take care of my wife."</p><p>I watched him go to the car unlocking it opening the door for me. I sat down feeling the door close then he came around getting in his side looking at me as he started the engine. He drove in silence looking at the road then he glanced at me.</p><p>"You need to take care of yourself when I am not here."</p><p>"I do." I said, leaning my head back against the headrest looking at him.</p><p>"Then why haven't you gone home to sleep before this."</p><p>"Work." I said</p><p>"Sara, any other person would have said I need sleep before it got to this point." He said</p><p>I sighed reaching over taking his hand in mine. He looked at me a second.</p><p>"I just worry about you."</p><p>"I know, and I love when you do." I said "It makes me feel special, as I was chosen."</p><p>"You were chosen."</p><p>I smiled faintly closing my eyes. Grissom looked at me as I dozed rubbing my hand in his on my lap. He parked outside my apartment complex turning off the motor looking over at me. I slept against the seat with my head almost lying against my shoulder facing him. He sighed hating to wake me, but he had to.</p><p>"Sara?" He called, touching my limp hand on my lap. When I didn't stir he touched my cheek smoothing his hand across it. "Honey."</p><p>I slowly moved sighing opening my heavy eyes looking at him.</p><p>"We are home."</p><p>"Great." I said, closing my eyes again.</p><p>He got out of the car coming around to my side. He opened the door and I groaned getting out. He got his suitcase walking over wrapping his other arm around my waist walking to the elevator.</p><p>My phone woke Grissom from a peaceful slumber. He moved opening his eyes looking over at me in day light. I laid on my stomach with my face towards him snoring gently. My phone stopped and he sighed closing his eyes again. It rang again causing him to groan as he looked over at me then the phone. I reached over me grabbing it laying back in bed.</p><p>"This is Gil Grissom." He said, rubbing his face.</p><p>"Gil, where is Sara?" Catherine asked</p><p>"She is at present lying beside me." He said, looking over at me.</p><p>"Oh, should I call back later?"</p><p>"No, she is sleeping."</p><p>"I need her to come in."</p><p>"Ah, I don't think that is going to happen."</p><p>"Why not?" She asked, annoyed.</p><p>"Catherine, you know that when she is exhausted it is hard to wake her up."</p><p>"Grissom, this is our heaviest time. We are shorthanded. Get her up!" She said, hanging up.</p><p>Grissom set my phone down on the bed sighing. He looked over at me then moved over sliding my hair back kissing my cheek then my neck. He moved his head back looking at me.</p><p>"Sara." He said "Sara!"</p><p>I moved to my side settling down again. Grissom chuckled hearing me snore. I moved feeling someone lift me up to sit.</p><p>"Sara!" He called, lifting my head to look at me.</p><p>"What?" I asked, irritable.</p><p>"Catherine called they need you." He said</p><p>"I'm to tired!" I said</p><p>"I know, I told her not to make you, but she said the lab is shorthanded."</p><p>I put my head in my hands as he waited.</p><p>"I'll make you some coffee." He said, getting up.</p><p>I sighed laying to the side on the bed. I tried to focus as he came back in moving about. I felt clothes thrown on me hearing him chuckle.</p><p>I walked into the lab cranky being sarcastic to everyone. Grissom watched the door open hours later seeing me drag myself in closing the door leaning against it before turning seeing him in the kitchen cutting vegetables for a salad.</p><p>"Hey." He said</p><p>"Hey." I said, as I sat on a stool at the counter holding my head up watching him cut a tomato.</p><p>"How was work?"</p><p>"Terrible." I said, closing my eyes.</p><p>Grissom wiped his hands watching as my head slowly moved forwards then I opened my eyes holding it again.</p><p>"You are exhausted." He said</p><p>"I'm okay." I said, yawning.</p><p>He moved my hair back kissing my neck then he massaged my shoulders. I moaned laying my head on my arms.</p><p>"After we eat let's go to bed."</p><p>He waited for a response when none came he rubbed my back watching me move then still. He sighed touching my head before going back to make dinner. I tried to eat, but I kept falling asleep. Grissom helped me change then get into bed. He worried about me being worked so hard.</p><p>I moved over to Grissom the next day noticing he was not in bed. I yawned getting up walking into the kitchen seeing him standing in a black suit with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand.</p><p>"Welcome back." He said, smiling.</p><p>I smiled walking over kissing him. He set the cup down kissing me back. He moved back hugging me rubbing my back.</p><p>"Sara, I love you so much."</p><p>"I know." I said</p><p>"Is this working? Us being apart so much?"</p><p>"I think so."</p><p>"There are times I roll over in bed expecting to see you."</p><p>"I do to."</p><p>"Then perhaps it's time to live in the same place."</p><p>I moved back looking at him.</p><p>"We talked about this a year ago."</p><p>"I know, but I thought now is a good time to bring it up."</p><p>"Gris, I can't leave Las Vegas."</p><p>"I know, when I mean live someplace else I mean me."</p><p>I searched his eyes.</p><p>"You would leave Paris?"</p><p>"Yes, if you want me to be here."</p><p>"I do, but your lectures and digs?"</p><p>"I don't care about them. I care about you."</p><p>I felt a tear go down my cheek.</p><p>"I can get a job here. In fact, I am going to a job interview today."</p><p>I moved back touching my head.</p><p>"This is going so fast. Why didn't you tell me?"</p><p>"You were sleeping."</p><p>"I know, but…."</p><p>"Sara, I want to do this."</p><p>I sighed looking at him.</p><p>"Then I will support you."</p><p>He hugged me again.</p><p>I went to shift in shock after Grissom told me about his job interview. He didn't tell me what it was so I assumed he would when I got home. At the end of shift I got some coffee in the break room seeing the others come in one by one.</p><p>"What is going on?" I asked</p><p>"Catherine said she had an announcement to make." Nick said, as he and Greg sat down.</p><p>I walked over sitting beside Greg seeing Catherine come in. Some others came in behind her taking seats around the room.</p><p>"Before we leave I need to make an announcement." She said "No doubt you heard that we were opening a new position for a liaison to help on cases. This person needed to know about forensics, have a medical degree, and know about insects."</p><p>I froze as Nick and Greg looked at me smiling.</p><p>"This person will work on cases with all of us. Now that being said I would like to tell you all that Grissom is back."</p><p>Everyone minus me clapped and yelled with happiness. I stood looking at Catherine. She smiled at me watching me walk out quickly. I went home seeing him walking out of the bedroom stopping when he saw my expression.</p><p>"Hello dear." He said</p><p>"You are working at the lab?" I asked, walking over. "You are going to be there every shift working?"</p><p>"Yes." He said, searching my face.</p><p>"How long did you know about this?"</p><p>"Since a month ago."</p><p>"You didn't tell me?"</p><p>"I wanted it to be a surprise."</p><p>"It was." I said</p><p>He kissed me slowly then moved back as I smiled.</p><p>Grissom came back excited to be there again. I felt happier knowing he was just a walk away. He went to Paris to pack things and to have them sent a week after working.</p><p>I came into his large office which he used as part laboratory and office. I closed the door seeing him looking at something in a book. He seemed in deep concentration as I crept over standing behind him.</p><p>"Hello dear." He said</p><p>I sighed as he didn't look up.</p><p>"How did you know that was me?"</p><p>"Because I know you." He said, flipping a page.</p><p>I laid my head against his back smiling trying to distract him. He cleared his throat feeling my hands come around him.</p><p>"Bored?" He said</p><p>"No, I am just off shift."</p><p>He looked at his watch on his wrist.</p><p>"Is it time to go already?"</p><p>"Yes." I said</p><p>"Hmm. I might be late."</p><p>"Doing what?"</p><p>"I need to research this beetle that Nick brought me." He said</p><p>"I'll stay."</p><p>"No, you go home." He said, kissing my head. He went back to his book looking at a page flipping to the next.</p><p>"Should I wait up?"</p><p>He shook his head. I sighed looking at him then I walked out. Unable to keep my eyes open I went to sleep when I got home. Grissom came home walking into the bedroom seeing me lying on his side. He shook his head gently rolling me over to my side then he went to change. Coming back in he saw I had moved back. Yet again, he moved me lying down feeling me move back over this time on his chest with my arm over his stomach. He gave up lying back down.</p><p>He woke feeling me moving around on the bed. Opening his eyes he saw I was having a nightmare.</p><p>"No…..mom….don't….no!"</p><p>He moved over shaking my arm.</p><p>"Sara, wake up."</p><p>I moved again.</p><p>"Please…don't shoot him…..please!"</p><p>"Honey." Grissom said</p><p>I woke suddenly going into defensive mood. Grissom felt himself being thrown back on the mattress with me sitting on top of him pressing my gun into his chest breathing fast. Grissom slowly turned on the light looking at me.</p><p>"Sara!" He said</p><p>I blinked seeing what I was doing. Grissom took a breath as I lifted the gun up getting off him setting it down on the bedside table looking down.</p><p>"I am sorry Grissom." I said, sniffing.</p><p>He sat up putting his hand on my arm.</p><p>"It's all right."</p><p>I put my hand to my face crying.</p><p>"Honey, what's wrong?"</p><p>I shook my head. He pulled me to him kissing my head.</p><p>"Talk to me."</p><p>"I….just remember my mom threatening my dad one day. I cried yelling at her to stop. She shoved me away yelling at him more and I thought she was going to kill him."</p><p>"It's okay." He said</p><p>"A few days later he was dead. I just regret not trying to save him."</p><p>"You were a little girl." He said</p><p>"I should have done something."</p><p>He smoothed my hair back.</p><p>"You can't regret something that was out of your hands. You were at school."</p><p>I buried my face in his chest crying more. He sighed holding me.</p><p>The next day I stood looking at Grissom sleeping in the bed. His alarm was about to go off and the smell of coffee would rouse him. I felt weird just staring at him, but seeing him asleep was something rare. His alarm started to ring and he moved after the third one. He moved his head looking over at my side then he moved sitting up rubbing his head looking over seeing me dressed smiling at him.</p><p>"Hey." He said</p><p>"You look cute." I said, walking over sitting on the bed.</p><p>"I doubt that." He said, reaching over taking my hand. "How are you?"</p><p>"Fine." I said "I made you breakfast and some coffee."</p><p>"Really?" He asked</p><p>"Yes, it's a thank you for putting up with me."</p><p>"Well then I will take it." He said, leaning over kissing me.</p><p>I left him to get ready putting his warm plate on the counter with a cup of coffee. He came over in his work clothes looking at the plate sitting on a stool. He looked at me leaning against the counter with a cup in my hand.</p><p>"Did you eat?" He asked</p><p>I shook my head putting the cup in the sink.</p><p>"Sara, you need to eat."</p><p>"I am not hungry." I said, coming over kissing his head then I went to the door.</p><p>"Where are you going?" He asked</p><p>"Work."</p><p>"It's really early."</p><p>"I want to, bye."</p><p>He watched the door close thinking. I went to work clocking in very early. Grissom came in going to his office seeing Catherine standing outside his door with a definite frown on her face.</p><p>"Catherine." He said</p><p>She walked in behind him shutting the door.</p><p>"What is wrong?" He asked, going to his desk.</p><p>"Sara, is the problem."</p><p>He looked at her forgetting what he needed to do to face her.</p><p>"What is she doing?"</p><p>"She had a fight with a suspect while interrogating him. He leaps over the desk and tries to throttle her."</p><p>"What?" He said</p><p>"Relax, she is fine, but now she is hold up in a lab picking fights with anyone that comes in to the room. You know how hard it is to anger Hodges?"</p><p>"She made him mad?"</p><p>"Yes, and he came to see me. I don't want to come to you every time we have a problem, but it seems to me like something is bothering her more than usual."</p><p>"That's okay."</p><p>"By the way I would wear some protection before going in the room."</p><p>He walked out finding me in a room by myself looking at some tire tread. He slowly opened the door watching as I looked up with fire in my eyes at the intruder. He could see the bruises on my neck already coming out.</p><p>"I'm busy." I said, looking down.</p><p>He walked over lifting my head up looking at my neck.</p><p>"Where did those come from?"</p><p>"I was questioning a suspect."</p><p>"And?" he asked</p><p>"It got out of hand." I said</p><p>"Are you all right?"</p><p>"I'm fine." I said</p><p>"Sara, you seem mad."</p><p>"I told you I am fine."</p><p>"Have I done something to…..?"</p><p>I slammed down the tread on the table looking at him.</p><p>"I said I was fine!"</p><p>He slowly nodded observing me.</p><p>"I want to be alone."</p><p>I looked down feeling his eyes boring into me.</p><p>"You're mad about something and taking it out on everyone else. I want to know what is wrong."</p><p>I sighed looking at him.</p><p>"Nothing is wrong."</p><p>He said nothing for a moment.</p><p>"Pack your stuff up and then come to my office."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Sara, do as I say." He said</p><p>"No, you are not my boss."</p><p>"You're right I am not, however I am your husband." He said</p><p>Catherine came in silently watching from the door.</p><p>"I am working!" I said</p><p>"Pack it up." He said</p><p>"Grissom, please leave."</p><p>"I will tell Catherine I think you need some time off."</p><p>"What?" I said</p><p>"I think you are overworked."</p><p>"I am not!"</p><p>"Either you come to my office right now or I tell her!"</p><p>I looked at him seeing he was being serious. He watched me fight inside then I threw the tread at him as hard as I could. He ducked watching me walk around the table seeing Catherine.</p><p>"Sara, that was very childish and not to mention threatening!" She said</p><p>"Catherine, I don't need a lecture!"</p><p>"Pack your evidence up. You're off the case and on vacation this week." She said</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Sara, do you want pay or non-pay?"</p><p>I looked at them then I ran out.</p><p>"You okay?" She asked</p><p>"Yeah, something is really bothering her."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>I walked outside throwing my gloves down as I paced. Grissom came out watching me.</p><p>"What, more lecturing?" I asked</p><p>"No."</p><p>I put my hands on my waist looking down as I walked back and forth.</p><p>"Can you talk to Catherine and get me back to work?"</p><p>"No, I can't."</p><p>"You know I am okay."</p><p>"No, I don't think you are."</p><p>I stared at him then I walked over trying to go past him. He pulled me back facing him.</p><p>"You were fine when I saw you earlier."</p><p>"Drop it." I said</p><p>"No Sara."</p><p>He searched my eyes as I looked at him then down.</p><p>"Sophia….told me you took her out to dinner."</p><p>"Dinner, yes I did."</p><p>"Did you kiss her?"</p><p>"Sara, that was a few years ago."</p><p>"I want to know."</p><p>"Yes, I did."</p><p>"While you were with me?"</p><p>"No, this was before you and I went out."</p><p>He touched my cheek.</p><p>"Is that what this is about?"</p><p>"No, I just found out about it."</p><p>He sighed.</p><p>"Sara, I love you."</p><p>"I know." I said, looking down.</p><p>"What else is wrong?"</p><p>"I….don't want to be hurt."</p><p>"Hurt, what do you mean?"</p><p>I looked at him.</p><p>"I know you are attracted to Sophia, and I just…..don't want to be hurt."</p><p>He pulled me to him.</p><p>"Sara, my time with her is over. I was attracted to her, but then I found you. I love you."</p><p>I closed my eyes against his shoulder. He moved back kissing my head.</p><p>"I better go." I said "I have to get something out of my locker."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>He watched me leave. Catherine saw him enter her office sitting down.</p><p>"Is she gone?"</p><p>"Yes." He said, rubbing his face.</p><p>"You look perplexed." She said</p><p>"I am, she just lied to me about what was the matter."</p><p>"What is wrong with her?"</p><p>"I don't know, but I plan on finding out."</p><p>He came home hearing the TV playing. I laid on the couch sleeping as he came in seeing me and a bottle of beer on the coffee table. He walked to the fridge in the kitchen seeing that I had bought a pack of beer. He shut the door feeling upset. I moved as he sat on the coffee table looking at me. I opened my eyes seeing him.</p><p>"Hey." I said, stretching.</p><p>He looked at me stone-faced.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>He lifted the beer bottle.</p><p>"You said you quit this."</p><p>I looked at the bottle then at him.</p><p>"I did."</p><p>"Why is this here then?"</p><p>"I….went to the store and saw it and I thought…"</p><p>"Sara, you promised me that this would not be an issue."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Where I come from a promise means something."</p><p>"Grissom, I…."</p><p>He stood walking to the kitchen. I followed watching him open the other beers dumping them down the sink drain.</p><p>"No more beer and no more lies. I want you to tell me what is wrong now."</p><p>"I told you." I said</p><p>"That was not what was troubling you. I realized that after you left. You knew that I kissed her years ago."</p><p>I looked at him calmly.</p><p>"I think you were counting on my absent mindedness." He said, as he continued to dump the beer. "It stops now."</p><p>I walked away as he looked in my direction. He found me in bed lying on my side. He climbed in next to me waiting.</p><p>"I did lie to you about that." I said</p><p>"Okay, now you can tell me the truth." He said</p><p>"I called my mom after I left."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I was thinking about her after the dream and I wanted to see her."</p><p>"Did you talk to her?"</p><p>"No, she put no one down as her emergency person. She died last week."</p><p>"Oh honey, I am sorry." He said, putting his arms around me.</p><p>"They buried her in a potter's field." I said "It angered me that I didn't get to say goodbye to her."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>I turned putting my face in his chest.</p><p>"I am an orphan."</p><p>He moved back smoothing my hair away.</p><p>"I feel so alone. I don't know why because I have you, and she wasn't the greatest mother out there, but she was the only one I had."</p><p>"What can I do for you?"</p><p>"Just hold me." I said</p><p>He pulled me to him. We slept peacefully after that till the next day. Grissom moved over not feeling my warm body beside him. He moved lifting his head seeing the bathroom door was closed.</p><p>"Sara?" He called</p><p>When no answer came he got up walking over to the door.</p><p>"Sara, are you all right?" He asked, after knocking. "Honey?"</p><p>He tried to doorknob finding it locked.</p><p>"Sara, open the door." He said, knocking.</p><p>When no answer came he knocked one more time before ramming it open. It opened breaking and he came in seeing nothing odd except the bathtub water was running with the door closed. He walked over opening the door seeing me underwater with the water almost ready to over flow.</p><p>"Sara!" He yelled, turning the water off. He quickly pulled me out going out getting his phone dialing setting it on the floor as he put it on speaker phone.</p><p>"911, what is your emergency?" A woman answered</p><p>"I need an ambulance to come to 133 Parkway Place!" Grissom said, before blowing into my mouth. He put his hands over my stomach pushing them against me. "My wife is unresponsive."</p><p>He blew in again then pushed.</p><p>"I found her in the bathroom with the water running."</p><p>The woman notified him that the ambulance was on it's way.</p><p>"Come on Sara!" He said, breathing in again. "Don't do this!"</p><p>I suddenly arched my back letting water come out of my mouth. Grissom put me over to my side as I coughed.</p><p>"It's okay." He said, over and over holding me.</p><p>I shook feeling him lift me up throwing a towel around my naked body. He smoothed my wet hair as I closed my eyes.</p><p>The ambulance took me to the hospital and I woke in a room looking over seeing Grissom sitting in a chair beside the bed looking at me.</p><p>"Gris." I said</p><p>He stood sadly looking down at me.</p><p>"The doctor said you are going to be fine."</p><p>I nodded watching him sigh.</p><p>"Gil, I…"</p><p>"No, don't tell me you're sorry. It's to late for that." He said</p><p>"To late?"</p><p>He walked around the bed.</p><p>"I feel betrayed." He said "You were just going to slip away and not….come to me and say anything. You could have let me know you were having these thoughts and I would have been there for you, but instead you decided to just do it."</p><p>I watched him look at me at the end of the bed.</p><p>"I am your husband and I have an opinion about this. I deserve to be there to help you and I expect you to do the same for me. That was a selfish thing you did. It shows me how much you do not care for me and yourself."</p><p>I wiped a tear from my face.</p><p>"I need time away from you for a while."</p><p>"Grissom!" I said, trying to sit up.</p><p>"I can't do this." He said, leaving.</p><p>"Grissom, please!" I cried</p><p>He looked at me before leaving. I sobbed sitting up holding my face in my hands feeling alone. I came home seeing a note from him telling me where he was staying. I cried in bed holding the note.</p><p>A few weeks later Catherine walked into Grissom's office seeing him on his couch in the corner with his arm over his eyes.</p><p>"Migraine?" She asked</p><p>"Yeah." He said "How is everything?"</p><p>"You mean how Sara is?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"She's doing better. She actually talked to me yesterday."</p><p>Grissom put his arm down at his side looking at her.</p><p>"What did she say?"</p><p>"Just that she made a mistake."</p><p>"Hmm."</p><p>"Oh and she has not been sleeping well or eating very much. I think she's lost more weight."</p><p>Grissom sighed looking at the wall in front of him.</p><p>"Grissom, why don't you go to her?"</p><p>"I can't."</p><p>"You both would be a lot happier if you worked things out."</p><p>"I still feel hurt."</p><p>She nodded sighing.</p><p>"Well I'll let you know how she's doing later."</p><p>"Good." He said, putting his arm back over his eyes.</p><p>I walked down the hallway with a heavy heart. Grissom was walking down with Nick when he saw me. I stopped seeing him as he walked by glancing at me before talking to Nick. I watched him go by then I walked on.</p><p>Walking over to my car I dropped my keys under the car. I groaned kneeling down trying to get them. It started to rain as I reached for the keys not able to get them I sat up crying. The thunder crashed as I got up walking to the side of the building already soaked. Grissom walked out with his umbrella going to his car when he looked over seeing me pacing alone. He didn't want to talk to me, but he worried something was wrong. Slowly he walked over seeing me look over at him.</p><p>"You okay?" He asked</p><p>"I dropped my keys." I said, crying.</p><p>"Where?"</p><p>"Under my car."</p><p>"Oh." He said, looking over at my car.</p><p>I sniffed wiping the water from my face.</p><p>"Why don't you let me drop you at home?"</p><p>I shook my head.</p><p>"Sara, you're all wet, just let me take you."</p><p>I looked at him shaking. He saw me weaken and I walked over joining him under the umbrella. I got into his car as he got on turning on the heat on my side. I shook looking down as he drove. He looked over at me then drove. He parked outside my house putting the car in park looking over at me. I shook more visibly shaking.</p><p>"T…thanks." I said, opening the door. He stopped me getting out holding his umbrella over me helping me out. We got to our place he shut the door closing his umbrella looking at me. I held myself looking at him. He walked over concerned.</p><p>"Sara, you need to get out of those clothes."</p><p>"I….I will."</p><p>"Your lips are blue."</p><p>I touched them with a white hand feeling him take my arm leading me to the bedroom. I stood by the door as he moved around the room getting out clothes and a towel coming over to me.</p><p>"Can you change on your own?"</p><p>I shook my head shaking. He started to lift my shirt off my head toweling me off. Then he hesitated looking at me as his hands went to my pants.</p><p>"I think you can do the rest."</p><p>He left the room as I tried to work my numb fingers. He came back in seeing I was under blankets in bed shivering. He walked over touching my head.</p><p>"You have a fever."</p><p>I nodded chattering my teeth.</p><p>His hand rubbed my back. I closed my eyes opening them again when I heard him moving. He climbed into the bed pulling me to him as he pushed the blankets up over his body. I shook up against him. My face went to his chest feeling his arms come around me.</p><p>"You are close to having hypothermia." He said</p><p>"Mmm."</p><p>He rubbed my back harder putting his head against mine.</p><p>A few hours later he opened his eyes feeling the heat coming from me. He moved sitting up touching my head.</p><p>"You're burning up." He said, to himself.</p><p>He got a cold cloth putting it over my head. I moved shaking a little opening my eyes seeing him.</p><p>"Grissom?" I said, weakly.</p><p>"Don't talk, just sleep." He said</p><p>"No, I…have to tell you….something."</p><p>"No you don't."</p><p>"Gris…..I messed up."</p><p>He looked at me as he moved the cloth over my face.</p><p>"I….love you."</p><p>"You need to sleep."</p><p>I moved to my back swallowing.</p><p>"Please…..come back."</p><p>"I can't."</p><p>"Please?" I said, pleading weakly.</p><p>He sighed looking down then he got up taking off the cloth.</p><p>"I'll get you some juice."</p><p>I watched him go moving head to the side closing my eyes. Grissom shut the door walking to the couch sitting down holding his head. He got out his phone dialing a number then he waited.</p><p>"Willows." The tired voice answered.</p><p>"Cath it's me."</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"Sara is very sick in her bedroom and I am sitting out on the couch."</p><p>"Sick?"</p><p>"Yes, I drove her home and stayed. She just asked me to come back."</p><p>"What did you say?"</p><p>"I can't."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Catherine, I just don't think I can forgive her."</p><p>"Grissom, you love her, I know you do. Relationships are not perfect."</p><p>"I do love her, but I feel if I do come back I will be watching her to make sure she doesn't do anything."</p><p>"Trust her."</p><p>"I don't know if I can."</p><p>Catherine sighed over the phone.</p><p>"Let me tell you something. Sara came to me the other day telling me that she didn't mean to kill herself."</p><p>"You believed her?"</p><p>"Not at first, but as she told me about her past it dawned on me that she was telling the truth."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Gil, she never wanted to hurt you. Inside she is a scared little girl who only wants love and acceptance. She did that because she was reliving an event in her life and it got out of hand."</p><p>Grissom sat back on the couch.</p><p>"When she was little her mother tried to drown her in the bathtub. Sara said she fell asleep in the tub and had the dream where her mom tried to drown her."</p><p>"You mean she never intended to kill herself?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>He rubbed his head hearing the door open and I came out holding onto the doorway looking very pale.</p><p>"Cath, I'll call you back." He said, hanging up. He stood coming over to me. "Sara, you should be lying down."</p><p>"I…thought you…left."</p><p>"No." He said, leading me back to bed. I laid back as he put the blankets over me. "Why didn't you tell me about your mother drowning you?"</p><p>"I was trying to in the hospital."</p><p>He sat down touching my head.</p><p>"I'm sorry." He said</p><p>"Does this mean you'll come back?"</p><p>"If you will let me."</p><p>"Please come back."</p><p>He leaned down kissing me then took my hand.</p><p>"I will."</p><p>I closed my eyes feeling him smooth my skin in a loving way. I felt sleep take over finally able to rest.</p>
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